What Is the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Raven? Eastwatch to Dragonstone, the Kessel Run of Westeros Westeros map from Reddit, Photoshop by Matt Ufford These are the episode’s biggest offenses: 1. In both episodes, the director deserves credit for building a claustrophobic tension that put me on edge despite the transparency of the next step, but neither battle stands up well to scrutiny. Just as “ Battle of the Bastards” had an obvious, pre-ordained rescue from the Knights of the Vale, so too was Dany’s arrival via dragon telegraphed as soon as the Snow Patrol got marooned - if not earlier. Was it built on a foundation of bullshit to reach those heights? Yep, that too. Was the climactic scene a technical marvel? Yes. Let’s go ahead and get it out there: “Beyond the Wall” had some problems, particularly the gaping holes in the logistical narrative that led to the Battle of Oh Shit Island.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: We probably don’t have to say it, but incest is wrong. Look, I’ve taken survival classes, I just want to see what’s best for Jon’s health. Martin and the showrunners also deserve a fair amount of credit - I think that’s the right word here - for re-wiring my brain to think, “Come ON! Just let that pretty lady make out with her nephew!” All I’m sayin’ is, the fastest way to heat up a hypothermic body is with skin-to-skin contact.
Notes: People are gonna talk a lot of shit about the IMMENSE narrative license the writers have taken with this season generally and with “Beyond the Wall” specifically. Totals: Tormund spoke about his desire for Brienne Jon was shirtless and held Dany’s hand I made a big ol’ wankin’ gesture. We’re entering the home stretch of the plot, it’s no time to be metaphorical.
I mean, the series of books IS called A Song of Ice and Fire. Notes: So, like, is Undead Viserion going to breathe fire or ice? Despite the potential for “friendly fire” (BAZINGA), the former seems more beneficial for the White Walkers as they take their war south, but the latter seems to fit a little better thematically. Re-killed? The show was never super-clear about where he fell on the living-dead spectrum. UPDATE: Oh yeah, Benjen Stark got killed, too.
They killed a dragon, man! That fucking asshole killed one of Dany’s dragons and brought it back as an evil zombie dragon and now the good guys have to fight the army of the dead AND an undead dragon. What am I, the official Game of Thrones scorekeeper? LET ME MOURN. Maybe another extra from the Wall died, I dunno.
Two guys? Four? Does the cold get credit for killing Thoros? Some rando got tackled into a freezing lake by zombies another fell into a screaming pit of wights. (Scoring is typically one point per killing or instance of nudity, though the reviewer reserves the right to award bonus points for style.) Violence Episode 7.06, “Beyond the Wall” FINAL SCORE: Violence Some, Sex Nothin’ Please respect these boundaries should you choose to participate in the comments section. Martin's books (as well as the occasional fan theory on message boards), but the column will usually only discuss events that have happened on HBO's televised version. This Game of Thrones discussion is written by someone who has read George R.R.